36 Years Together ... and Another Adventure Ahead!

October 9 is my anniversary. My husband and I have been married for 36 years. We have been through the ups and downs and the in-betweens. This year has had them all, but we have supported each other and hung on. When Steven and I got married we made a promise to each other, "We will never use the word divorce between us". We have kept that promise but, oh my gosh, do we have some stories to tell.

Our celebrations have become more and more simplistic. Every year, the first weekend in October, we go to the National Storytelling Festival in Tenn. and serve as Tent Hosts. In other words, we work. We came back to Charlotte early this year, on Sunday, to attend a wedding for a sweet couple beginning their married lives together. On October 8 Steven went with me for a doctors appointment. We went to the Olive Garden for lunch and then to Daniel Stowe Botanical Gardens (we have a membership) and walked around together. We had dessert at Sweet Frog, stopped by Good Will, picked up groceries, and went home to watch a little TV. October 9, our actual anniversary, we were both working. I was unpacking bags, doing laundry, and trying to catch up on house stuff. Steven was back doing IT work for his job. But isn't that what marriage is, doing life together?

We have lots to think about during this next year of our marriage. The company Steven works for is shutting down their local campus and moving everything to southeast VA. Therefore Steven is losing his job. What is next? Where will we be? Where will he work? What opportunities are ahead? Where will I be booked to tell stories? Lots to do and think about. There is one thing for sure though, we will do it together.

Bottle Trees

I have wanted a bottle tree for years. My husband promised me one for my birthday in February and on Labor Day weekend, I finally got one from a local craft festival. It is not big, but that is just fine.  I'll need another one, I would guess, in the not too distant future. 

Bottle trees are just that, trees that you put bottles on. They can be made of wood, metal, or really any material. They look pretty in any garden. Traditionally you put blue bottles on the tree, however, if you use lots of different colors it makes them look like stained glass in your yard. Bottle trees entered this country with enslaved Africans. The decorated trees became part of Southern Appalachian culture and have become folk art. You can see them all over the US now. 

I can hear you asking, "But why would people want bottle trees in the first place". They do serve a purpose. Blue is really the color you want because both the sky and the water are blue; the blue brings them together. The bottles are hung upside down and are appealing to evil imps and spirits who try to get in your house at night. The bottle tree is put near your home to catch those imps and spirits. Once in the bottle, it is difficult for them to get out. When the sun comes up and shines on the bottle the evil spirits fade away with the sun's rays. Blue paint on a door, a porch ceiling, or around window sills keeps out evil too, but that's another story for another time. 

Bottle trees are quite popular with storytellers, but then why wouldn't they be? They tell such a great story! I love my bottle tree and it makes me smile.  If it keeps evil away, well then, that gives me one more reason to get another one (like I really need a reason).

Bryon, the Story Continues

I wrote some earlier blogs about Bryon, our son, but to catch you up this is a recap of the story.

Bryon moved from North Carolina to California in the spring of 2015. In November 2015 Bryon was diagnosed with testicular cancer. He had surgery in early December and was told that they had gotten it all and he would be fine. Life went on as normal for 2 years. Then in January of this year, he ended up in the emergency room with an excruciating gut ache and discovered that some rogue cells had made their way to his gut and had set up camp. It was aggressive and had grown to an inoperable size. Chemo began in February (check out my past blogs on that if you want to know more) and miserable just doesn’t do justice to describing it. Bryon held strong through it all!! I went to be with him through chemo in February. Then our youngest daughter, Carmen, went out for his 2nd round. Genette, our oldest daughter, went for his 3rd, and Steven, my husband for the 4th. 

Bryon’s girlfriend, Amber, could not have been more amazing and supportive through it all. Amber’s family stepped in and truly became part of our family by being a support system for our son. His friends and roommates in California also loved him through the chemo and the challenges it brought. Genette set up an online fundraiser and people from all over the country donated to help our boy with medical expenses. Many had never met Bryon and frankly, were only acquaintances to us. My storytelling friends, people from high school I’d not spoken to within 40 years, his friend's parents, my children’s friends all stepped in to help him pay for parking, copays, uber rides, food. The donations helped him through. ( Just an FYI, I sat down and figured out, in one-day cancer was costing roughly an additional $100 a day for Bryon. That does not include the airfare and expenses of the family traveling there. I never thought about that until it happened to our family.) My sister Kay, her daughter Samantha, and Genette put money and time into making #TeamBryon tee shirts for the family.  Emotional support and prayers were just as important as the financial help. People looked for updates I posted on Facebook and asked how he was doing. Many gave supportive nods and words of, “You’ve got this, Bryon”, “Hang in there”, “Praying for you”, “Thinking about you”. 

Chemo ended and Bryon began to grow his beard back, he pushed on through the fatigue, neuropathy, nausea, medication, expenses, and everything else that goes along with cancer. We waited for the chemo to pass out of his system for weeks so he could have a PET scan to determine the status of the tumor. His doctor went out of town so we waited longer.  Then we got the news … BRYON IS IN REMISSION!!! There are currently no active cancer cells in his body. Our son can now concentrate on healing. The neuropathy is tough (and his truck is falling apart) BUT he has a hope and a future.

Thank you all for your love, prayers, donations, kind words, hugs, well wishes, cards, care packages and so much more. Oh, my, gosh!!! How can I thank all of you for what you have done on behalf of my son and our family? You have blessed us beyond measure!

And so, the story continues.

My Mother Earth

I have come away to the mountains to take some time for myself. I need it. Being alone gives me some time to think, pray, and consider what my next step should be.

I grew up in the Catskill Mountains so I need to go back to the high places at least once a year to get grounded again. These are not the Catskills, they are the Blue Ridge. They are part of the Appalachian Mountain Range, as are the Catskills, so when I am here I am connected to home.

There is a deep thread that runs through these mountains. It was not placed there by man, but by the Great Creator. It ties me to the trees, the stones, the plants, and the stories that sail on the wings of the winds in the high places. It takes a quietness of heart to hear the stories.

When I leave, I know all of the living beings of the mountain; the trees, flowers, plants, and yes even the stones, will say to me, "We will miss you while you are gone. Come home again, won't you? Come sit in our lap again, listen as we tell you another story, and please share your adventures with us that we might add more volumes to our collection. Come back again, won't you?" I wave and say, yes, of course... the mountains are truly my mother earth.

Irony of Joy

It is Sunday and I am still in California. My husband’s sister, Kristen, lives about 3 ½ hours away from Burbank where my son, Bryon, lives. Since Bryon was feeling pretty good (the further he gets away from his week of chemo, the better he feels), Kristen came to Burbank for a day trip visit. The three of us went to a local restaurant and while we were having a lovely lunch together we heard a joyful voice say, “Bryon, it’s good to see you eating.” We all looked up and there stood one of Bryon’s oncology nurses. Of course, she had seen Bryon at his worst from the chemo. How ironic to see her there. 

After lunch, Kristen, Bryon, and I walked along the sidewalk and chatted. After a stop for a scoop of ice cream, Bryon said, “Ok, I’m spent, I need to sleep.”  The whole visit lasted about 2 hours, but it really was a very enjoyable time. It was nice to see family.

After hugs and a quick picture, Kristen left, I dropped Bryon off at his place, and then I drove back to the area where I am staying. Along the way, I stopped at a park to walk some more and be alone for a while. As I was walking, I met a lady who was walking her dog. The dog was all muscle and I made a comment about it being part bulldog. She told me the breed was a combination of bulldog and pit. Trixie was the dog’s name and she was very sweet. 

“I’m Lona,” I said. 

“My name is Joy,” she replied. 

How ironic! The second woman named Joy that I have met and spoken with here in California. I wonder, does this mean something? Maybe it is just God’s way of letting me know there is plenty of Joy to be found, even in the middle of a very challenging time. I don’t have to look for Joy —Joy just showed up. All I had to do was say hello.

I took a bunch of pictures while walking in the park. The trees there were so very interesting. Leave a note and tell me what you think about them.