The Burial in New York

Steven, our daughter, Genette, and I took a very quick trip to upstate New York for the burial of Steven's father this past weekend. William died in April and although we went up to be with Steven’s mother during that time we were not able to have the burial. This is not unusual for the north during the winter when the ground is frozen – digging the grave is difficult to impossible. Genette's husband Abe was not able to make it because of his job, so Steven and I drove to her house near Lynchburg, VA, spent the night, and we left together Friday morning to head for New York.

We got on the road about 7:30 am. According to the Garmin that would have put us in Albany, New York around dinner time. However, we had been on the road for about an hour when our forward motion was slowed down to the rate of 3 miles per hour for about 30 minutes. Then we saw it: a tour bus had broken down and was causing the delay in traffic. Once we got past the tour bus we were cruised along again until we hit another traffic jam: construction. We knew we would hit that somewhere along the route.

Back on our way and doing well for a couple of hours, we stopped for a break and some food. We climbed back in the van and ... wait for it ... the van would not start. Someone tried to give us a jump but it didn’t work. We called AAA and waited an hour before the wrong assistance truck arrived. After another 45 minutes, the correct truck arrived, and in 30 minutes more a new (expensive) battery was installed and we were once again on the road. We arrived at our hotel in Albany around 10:30 pm, tired sweaty, and ready for sleep.

Saturday morning we drove a couple of hours to Chestertown, NY for the graveside service and our final good-bye to Steven's father. The weather was warm, but the shade from a maple tree and a gentle breeze made the temperature perfect. The sky was dressed in pale blue with white clouds forming still life images.

After the ceremony, family and friends gathered at the local fire house for conversation and stories: a simple day as was proper. Another 2 hour drive and we were back to the hotel at about 11pm.

Sunday morning we set our alarm for 5:15 am and we drove to Kearneysville, WV to my niece's house for the night. As I write this it is Monday morning and we are on the way back to VA to drop off Genette. Steven and I will continue on to Charlotte, NC, so we can sleep in our own bed after a 2000 mile journey, 3 beds, and 5 days. The trip back has been smooth and we've had no traffic jams ... WHAT?!!

Oh wait, the Garmin just said there are delays ahead (Sigh)…

Well, I suppose it'll be another story to tell.

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Little Foot is Coming!!

My husband and I are going to be Grandparents!! Our oldest daughter, Genette, (ok…and her husband, Abe) will be having a baby this Fall. I am so very excited!!

My family has had a long season of hard challenges and the happy news of a new little one coming is helping us all to have a feeling of renewal. Bryon (our son) and Carmen (our youngest) are both thrilled about this baby, too. They are going to be an amazing Aunt and Uncle.

Genette and Abe have nick-named the baby Little Foot. Cute, huh? If you remember the Dinosaur movie from long ago, you know that there is a possibility of a dinosaur theme in the nursery.  They haven’t decided officially, though. Since their house is a fixer upper, there are renovations to be done before the baby arrives. The projects are happening slowly because they are doing the renovating themselves, but they are underway.

This November will be a very busy and happy month for us. Bryon and Amber will be getting married so Steven and I will have a new “bonus kid,” and Genette and Abe will become parents in the same month . The family grows.  What a lovely holiday season this will be for us. With all that has happened and is happening still, it is nice to look forward to some sweet events to make life richer.

And as always we’ll have a new story to tell!!

Moments of Memories:M-O-M

This past Sunday was the celebration of Mother’s Day. My children are all grown. I have one daughter living in Virginia, a son in California, and a daughter living here in Charlotte, NC. It is hard sometimes to have them scattered from coast to coast but as they were growing up my goal was to raise strong, independent adults, and they all are. The “bonus kids” (son and soon to be daughter- in- law) we have are strong and independent, too. It seems they have all found their place in this world, and I am proud.

This past weekend I talked with Genette (our oldest in VA) and Bryon (our son and middle child) on the phone. Carmen (our youngest here in the city) invited my husband and me to her house for dinner. It was lovely.

I certainly want to spend more time with all of them. But they all have full lives and distance certainly plays a part in that. Phone calls help, but it is nothing like putting your arms around a child you love.

Mother’s Day is one day a year, but if you have a child, you are a mom every day of the year. Although they are adults creating their own homes, making their own decisions, and providing for themselves, you are the one that holds the memories and the stories of rocking them to sleep, making mud pies in the rain, and singing silly songs in the doctor’s office.

M-O-M: We get through with our Moments of Memories, don’t we? Those memories make us laugh and cry, long for the past and look forward to the future.

A note to my kids:

Genette, Bryon, and Carmen, I love you all with my whole heart. I cannot tell you how proud I am of your endurance and love for each other. You are the best part of me. I am blessed to be your Mom, and the joy you have brought to my life is immeasurable. For all the ups and downs, the ins and outs, the trips to the emergency room and the challenges, it was all worth it because you are the ones that make the memories worth keeping. I love you all because you are you. By the way, G, B, and C the door is always open— come by anytime you have a place here. You and the ones you love are welcome. I love and treasure all three, no, all five of you.

Love you forever and a day,

Mom

Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit

I remember my mother saying “Rabbit, rabbit, rabbit,” on the first day of each month for good luck. I have friends on facebook who post rabbits on the first of the month in recognition of the phrase; ok, I might do that too. I’ve always known repeating rabbit three times was for good luck, but I don’t understand why it is supposed to be lucky. Carrying a rabbit's foot is supposed to be good luck, but it’s not so lucky for the rabbit. There is a rabbit in the Chinese horoscope; I don’t know much about that either. There are rabbits in my back yard and they eat my vegetables, so that’s not lucky for me, but the rabbits enjoy it.

Wikipedia, the mecca of all knowledge, says the phrase originated in Great Britain and North America. Was that simultaneously? Did a person on each continent have the same revelation at the same time and announce, “We must say, ‘Rabbit, rabbit, rabbit!’ on the first day of each month or we shall not have good luck!”

I read that President Roosevelt said it on the first day of the month. Was it lucky for him? I have no idea. The Energizer Bunny just keeps going and going… why is it pink?

In the end, sometimes we say or do things because of tradition, a touch of superstition, an element of hope, or maybe just for fun. I say rabbit, rabbit, rabbit because of all of those things — it certainly isn’t going to hurt and what if it does bring good luck?

So, on this first day of May, join me in saying, “Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit,” and have a very Hoppy Month of May!

An Unplanned Journey

My husband Steven and I took an unplanned trip to our “old stompin’ ground” in Upstate New York at the beginning of this month. Steven’s father’s health had taken a turn for the worse, and he left this earth in the early morning of April 4. Steven and I journeyed to New York to be with his family, so the trip was bittersweet.

We packed up our van in the rain and drove to West Virginia to my niece Samantha’s house. It was nice seeing her, her husband, and her two little girls that I call my “redheaded fairies.” Those two are just so cute and lively you can’t help but smile when you see them. The following day we headed for Albany, NY, by way of Brook’s B-B-Q in Oneonta, a local favorite you can only get in that area (It’s a must for us whenever we go back to Upstate!). We completed the trip to Albany, (through more rain), and stopped by Steven’s mother Wanda’s place. His sister (Kristen) had arrived from California, so we were able to visit with them for a couple of hours before going on to our hotel.

The next day we found time to go to my brother Joel’s house to have lunch with him, his wife (Donna), and my nephew (Millard). Joel still lives on the property where my father lived as a boy and where my parents raised my siblings and me. All of the original buildings were built in the 1800s and are in rough shape, but it still feels like home. The people on our mountain speak a bit differently than most; I enjoyed being able to speak in the tone, lilt, and vocabulary that I grew up knowing. After lunch, Joel and I walked around the property, and I was able to collect a few relics to take home to North Carolina.

The next few days were spent with Steven’s family making plans. We settled on the obituary write up for the newspaper and a date for the burial ceremony during the summer. It is not uncommon for people in the north to wait for warmer months to bury remains; the frozen ground makes it almost impossible to dig a grave. Steven and I also took some time out to walk around a couple of thrift stores to debrief; sometimes you have to step away.

After several days, it was time for Steven and me to begin the trip back to North Carolina. We said our goodbyes to his family and left Albany. We decided to take a detour and drive past the house Steven grew up in. We were surprised by all of the very interesting changes made to the home and property: buildings were being constructed and several statues were placed on the grounds. A lot was going on; still, the house remained the original dark red color that we were both familiar with.

From there we drove past the country church where Steven and I were married. There it was, still looking the same. About 30 miles later we passed by SUNY Cobleskill, where Steven and I met, & smiled as we drove by. It's been nearly 40 years since we said, "hello" to each other there (and 36 since we said, "I do.")… I think it's gonna work out for us.

Then it was back to my family farm to pick up the relics I had collected. After a brief visit with Joel and Donna, we packed up the van and got back on the road. We spent the day traveling back to West Virginia, spent the night with Samantha’s family, then drove on to Lynchburg, VA to spend a couple of days with Genette (our oldest daughter) and her husband, Abe. Steven and I were glad we stopped there for a couple of days. We are now home again in North Carolina.

There are stories in all that we do; people in our lives, the journeys we take, and the choices we make. Then the day comes when we pass on and leave a space on this earth for someone else.

For now, this time belongs to you and me, so let’s LIVE!!

Dance, sing, go outside, visit friends, call someone, have a smoothie, pick strawberries, collect relics, jump in the water, splash in the rain, play with the redheaded fairies in your life… just don’t pass on without leaving a story behind.